On to day 4 and D is for...
|D is for Discovery|
Then I thought maybe I could share a discovery I have made about myself.
So you may or may not know I am a very anxious person. I find certain things hard to get over and I constantly over think. My poor boyfriend gets it in the neck a lot as I am mostly anxious about how I look and how he could do 100x better than me. I'm constantly putting myself down for him to have to bring me back up again. He is truly amazing though as he constantly reassures me that he only has eyes for me and he loves all of me.
I have come to realise now that I need to pull myself together, I'm becoming a Mum.
So there are more things that I am anxious about but my boyfriend and I are the foundation of our little family and needs addressing first.
I have had to seriously take steps back to be able to take steps forward. I am still overcoming this and it is proving difficult. However, in doing this I have discovered how strong I can actually be and if not for myself but for someone else. I don't want my baby getting the vibes that her Mummy isn't a strong person and that I let the little things get the better of me. I want her to look at me and think 'Wow! That's my Mum and she is the strongest women I know.' Just like I do with my Mum and Grandma.
I'm quite proud of myself as I have slowed down on comparing myself to every girl with potential that walks by my boyfriend and I. The thoughts of 'is he looking at her? What if he'd prefer her?' are slowly turning into 'he loves you, he's having a baby with you, he tells you all the time.' I just have to reassure myself.
So not only have I discovered that I can have a stronger mind, I have also discovered that I can overcome this but it will just take time.